Cheri Kay in Haiti....where my life became meaningful.

So, the past few days have been pretty relaxing. With no school, no clinic and no therapy clinics (well, except that Ashley came for a therapy session yesterday, which went really well, I'll tell you more about that later!), we have just been hanging out, playing with new toys and watching cartoons! The kids have really enjoyed the time off and so have I. These pictures were taken on Christmas day of the kids' first attempt at roller skating (that's why Ecrissa has shorts over her pajama's. She kept putting on her new clothes OVER her pajamas, at one point she had her MSU jersey on too!). They LOVE their new roller skates! I ordered the adjustable roller skates for them for Christmas and they have been doing such a good job. both of them can stand by themselves and even move from point A to point B (although, not that smoothly!). They have both taken a couple of falls, but are troopers and get right back up! I sometimes feel bad that they don't have all t...

Well, the order of the pics on this blog entry are backwards, but please forgive me for not feeling up to it to fix it. Thanks to my mom and step-dad, dad and step-mom and grandma, the kids and I were able to open gifts this Christmas! Thanks to many other friends and family, I was blessed with the resources to be here to celebrate this joyous day with my children. Although I am so grateful for this time with my children, emotionally I have been struggling. I know my last post was one of sadness too, but I just haven't been able to work through all that is hard for me yet. Please forgive me again. I know this post is late, but depression makes it very hard to get things done. I sit down and I just stare at the computer. So, rather than wasting time staring at the computer, I sit on the floor with my kids and stare at them. They have magic in them! They are able to make me smile when all I want to do is cry. Anyway, enough with the sadness......... We all got these amazing MSU jers...

So, I have been struggling today. Why???? I don't know, I can't totally put my finger on all that I am feeling (I know, I know, that is such a girl thing to say, but it's true.) I feel like I have been hit from all sides with "things". I won't go into full details, but my body and brain feel as if they are melting, or maybe freezing, maybe they are exploding, well, maybe it's, I don't know, the bottom line is--I am not functioning properly. I am sad, tired, exhausted, irritable, weepy, lonely, and any other sad adjective you can think of. Why???? Is it the adoption?? No, not really, I can handle that and all of it's ups and downs, I have for four years. Well, OK , maybe it is the adoption. Maybe I am tired of fighting the same battles over and over and over. But, really the kids make everything alright! They are worth it. Is it Finances ? No, not really, God always seems to provide all that I need (not all that I want, but He never promi...

......without a passport. Yep, I'm feeling a little weird about this! Not that I have any plans to travel but, I have to admit, I feel a little strange being in this country without my American Passport! No don't worry! I haven't been stripped of my American citizenship or anything, I am just getting my passport re-newed! It was going to expire so last Monday I spent the morning in the US Consulate applying for a new passport. For the most part, everything went really smooth and I'll get to pick up my new passport on December 29th. Jaryse went with me while Ecrissa was in school. He was such a good boy and such a ham! He had all of the other people in the American Citizens part of the consulate cracking up. He talked to everyone, showed them the "Ella Dance" (you have to see Ella Enchanted, Jaryse's favorite movie if you want to know what I am talking about!!! LOL), and he even colored a picture with the crayons and coloring book that I brought f...

So, now that it's nearing the holidays, it takes a lot to stay positive about missing the third Christmas in a row with my family. Now, I am not complaining, as I have my beautiful children with me and they are able to celebrate Christmas with their mommy and not in an orphanage, and I realize how special that is and what a blessing it is to even have a family, my children and amazing friends. Even though I know all of this with my brain, sometimes my heart and emotions don't follow. I am thrilled to be with my kids, but not so thrilled with all of the struggles that come along with living here in Haiti and waiting out this process. I often feel lonely, even with 2 kids pulling on me, and I feel sad. I feel sad about lots of things, and sometimes I can't even tell you why I feel sad. I am frustrated with the struggles of daily life here in Haiti. It's hard. Haiti is a difficult place to be. I sometimes wonder why I gave up all of the " easiness " of...

This little guy is Jony . I had more pics, but the silly internet is not letting me upload pictures. I have tried multiple times and this is the only one that would load. Oh well, I can tell you about him with just one pic!!!! A missionary friend of mine helps with a medical clinic way out in a village, way out in the middle of no where! Ok , well, it's somewhere, but very far away from the city!!! This little boy was brought to her clinic a couple of weeks ago. She called to see if I'd be willing to evaluate him. I said sure! So, she brought him, his momma, and the village pastor to my house. He is 10 years old and has severe Cerebral Palsy. He has no access to any therapy or therapy related activities, never been to school (if you can't walk, you can't go to most schools in Haiti and especially way out in the villages there are no schools for the handicapped), but his family is very loving. They have taken good care of him. He is very verbal and was fun ...

It's just been pretty normal around here lately. Well, as normal as Haiti gets any way. Sometimes I am a bit nervous at how "normal" all of this is to me. I haven't ' left this country in 15 months (most missionaries leave for a few weeks a couple of times a year, or a few months once a year). I am a bit concerned that I do not take notice to the masses of people urinating in public, or the fact that telephone wires are jumbled balls of live wires, or that I only notice the REALLY strong weird smells that are every where in this country. I also think that a good road is one that my car can at least make it through without four wheel drive. Hopefully, when I do get to travel back to the states, I won't have a meltdown from culture shock!!!!! We have had a pretty good week. Filled with the normal ups and downs and happy and sad moments and those inevitable moments of sibling fights! But, this week, my little girl really made me laugh. We had Taco Sal...

We had a short week of school to celebrate the Thanksgiving holday. Wednesday night, we decorated our little christmas tree that my mom sent to us in the mail. We are SO THANKFUL! We have never had the opportunity to do this together as a family. What a wonderful experience. The kids were so excited. They had so much fun and were very proud of their final accomplishment! We then sat by out little christmas tree, read the Christmas story, and talked about how this season, we will be celebrating the life of Jesus and remembering the amazing gift of Salvation that he gave to us. Of course, as I am trying to be af bit serious and make sure my kids remember the real meaning of Christmas, Jaryse pipes in with "Yep, and then we'll get presents, and we'll rip them open, and then we'll be surprised and say "oooooooooooo"!!!" Leave it to the 4 year old!!!!!! Ecrissa's pre-school class did a Thanksgiving "presentation" with the Kindergarten ...

Watch out Pixar Artists!!!! I have a 5 year old that can draw with the best of them!!!! LOL. Ok, so I am a little biased, but check out Ecrissa's NEMO!!!! I found her the other day, sitting on her bed looking up at a picture of Nemo, then down to her paper, then up to Nemo again, and then to her paper, and so on. And the final product................................ TA DA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A gorgeous Nemo!!!!!!!!!!! I am so proud of my little girl! She is growing and changing and makeing developmental gains everyday!!!!!!! For our day off yesterday, we "hung out" as Jaryse would say. I felt like that day was such a gift. We played at the school, I did some running (I don't think the workout thing is working, I've done 3 and I still don't look like a superstar!!!!), then we washed the car and played in our small pool. We watched movies, read books, played games, and ate snacks. Wow! Blessed to have a wonderful day off!!!!!! Maybe Haiti should ha...

Ms. Hollywood! Uncle Henry, Aunt Teri and Ecrissa Uncle Henry and Jaryse Grandma at the orphanage Aunt Teri May, Uncle Henry and the munchkins Me doing therapy with Idoris! I love that kid!!!! Kisses from Aunt Teri May! Me walking with Sonel at an orphanage! Goofball! Teri and Cheniedoh! Teri and Henry at the Orphanage Princess Ecrissa eating lunch!

So, this telephone pole is on the road near my house here in Port au Prince. I don't know how long it's been like that, but, it's standing (sorta), holding up the wires (sorta), and basically functioning on a daily basis. This telephone pole to me is representative of Haiti. Haiti, is broken. But, still seems to be functioning (sorta). When I look at this pole, only questions come to my mind... *How long has it been like this? *How long can it last like this? *Is is safe? *Is it effective? *When is it too broken to work at all? *Can it be fixed? *If so, how? *If it can't be fixed, will they replace it? *How do you go about doing that without affecting the people that it is supposed to be serving? I know that this is kinda a weird comparison , but I think of Haiti and it's issues everyday when I drive past this pole. I feel like these questions can be asked of Haiti too. I realize that I am not an employee of the electric company so I can do nothing to f...

My family left yesterday morning :( :( :( , but now I am in the middle of catching up. Oh, and Mia, I don't have pics yet!!!!! I am waiting for grandma and Teri to send them to me. I didn't have my camera with me, just grandma and Teri. We had a good visit though. We went to Jacmel and they watched me do therapy with the Jacmel kids, we played in the pool and enjoyed each other's company. We then came back to Port au Prince, did some shopping on the street, went to market's and to orphanages. On Tuesday my brother in law went to the medical clinic with me and to the school while I taught. I think that between all the driving around Port au Prince and the drive to Jacmel, they go to see alot of Haiti and experience some of the culture. I know they experienced nights (and even days) without electricity, the heat, Haitian Happiness (for those of you who don't know what that is, come visit, maybe you'll experience it too!!!), cold or semi warm showers, p...

Grandma, Teri and Henry arrived on Thursday night. We have been super busy but totally enjoying out time. This is my Grandma's first visit to Haiti and the first time that she has met my two awesome children. They have had so much fun. Of course, grandma came with a suitcase FULL of new clothes and new toys and the kids are loving the gifts. It was like Christmas Thursday night when Grandma opened her suitcase :) I have heard (but don't tell the kids :) ) That there are more presents to come from their Aunt Teri and Uncle Henry. i am sure that they'll be soooooooooooooo excited to get more fun things. We are currently in Jacmel and will go to do therapy today with the three children that I see here in Jacmel in just aobut an hour. My family will go with me and meet some of the kids that I provide services for here in Haiti. I hope that they will be as blessed by these little miracles as I am. I heard this morning about the school in Petion-ville. Apparently, a sch...

Sometimes, I feel like I am going crazy, running from this thing to that thing for this person, for this kid, for that. AAAAAHHHH, the life of a mom huh. I know it's been a while since I posted, but we are doing well. We've struggled with little electricity, poor internet, sleepless nights, and busy days, but all in all we are doing well. Ecrissa is the one who is really giving me something to talk about. She is learning so much. She has started putting two words together to make small sentences in sign language, I know, those of you without kids with disabilities may not get it, but every milestone is a HUGE deal for this mommy. She is recognizing the letters for her name, and beginning to understand fingerspelling. I am sooooooooooooooooo excited. It's alot of work, but she's moving forward. Jaryse is doing well too. He stays with a Haitian friend of mine during the day while I work at the medical clinic and he told me this morning as I as leaving to "...

Right now I am reading an inspirational thoughts for each day of the year, written by Max Lucado . The book is called "Grace for the Moment" and even though I am a few days behind, this entry really did bless me. I hope it blesses you as well. You are a great God. Your character is holy. Your truth is absolute. Your strength is unending. Your discipline in fair.... Your provisions are abundant for our needs. Your light is adequate for our path. Your grace is sufficient for our sins...... You are never early, never late...... You sent your Son in the fullness of time and will return at the consummation of time Your plan is perfect. Bewildering. Puzzling. Troubling. But perfect. As I live each day waiting and dreaming of the day that I am finally allowed to bring my children home to the United States with me, this small poem sure does fit. I cannot describe how difficult this is for me, but I wake each day and remind myself to keep my eyes on the Lord. He is pr...

This has been a packed week full of fun, school, teaching, medical clinics, new friends and new activities. Whew, OK, I'm tired. LOL . But, earlier this week we had fun playing with shaving cream on the table. Neither one of my kids have done this (to my knowledge anyway) but the both had a BLAST, as you can see by the smile on little Miss Ecrissa's face. :) There was shaving cream every where, they loved getting it all over their hands and arms. Jaryse showed me that he could build a mountain out of shaving cream and beware of the picture below, because it's the scary shaving cream monster- GRRRRRRRRRRRR The picture below is a picture of Ecrissa with her new friend Guerline . Guerline is a young lady who lives here in Port au Prince that I met at the free medical/dental clinic that I help with every week. Guerline came into the clinic needing dental work, and they needed a translator, not for Kreyol , but for Sign Language. Guerline is deaf and uses ASL to c...

....are words that ruin a perfectly lazy Sunday ;0) So, I was having trouble motivating myself Sunday morning to get ready for church. I know, Lame, but come on, I am a single mom living in Haiti, do I need any other excuse??? LOL . So, I say to Jaryse as I lay on my bed procrastinating a shower so well that I had actually almost convinced myself into skipping church "How about we just not go to church today, and we rest instead?" Jaryse said "Momma, God says, "Will you PLEASE just worship me????" So, there you have it, I had to get up and get my lazy bum bum in the shower to go worship God. Sometimes, I am amazed at how the Lord uses my children to check me. We went of church and of course, I was blessed by the sermon. Glad we did. Thanks Lord, for using my little man to check me when I need it.

Were four years ago today and four years ago tomorrow. It was Ocober 9th of '04 that I met the two week old baby boy that stole my heart from inside of my body. I had no idea that could even happen. But, the little boy below (yep, that's my Jaryse) did it. I fell in love with him and from that moment on, my life would change. Then, along came this pretty little thing, and my heart was torn out again. How does that happen??? How can one child take your heart and monopolize all of the love that you have, and then the next one that God gives to you do the exact same thing?? Seriously, how many hearts do I have??? I knew that I was in love with this little girl with all that was within me. I had to leave them. I met them, loved them, and had to leave them ten days later. Knowing that one day, I would bring them home to the US to be my children. That has not yet happened. But, God is amazing. He brought me to them. I am so amazed every day that I get to be the mommy of these two am...