Grateful


This past week has been a week of reflection for me. After finally making it home from Haiti with my two amazing children, getting the kids enrolled in school, finding work, dealing with and finally coming to the end of the bulk of the doctors visits, and trying to make a schedule for the three of us that is looking at least similar from one week to the next.....sorta.....I have finally had a chance to think and reflect.
What have I discovered? I'm not sure!!! I am still discovering feelings that I have had and haven't had the brain capacity to realize that I've had through all of this!
It was 9 months ago today that we finally got the last signature that we needed and had been waiting for over 17 months to receive! At that point, without even processing my previous feelings of despair and depression, I was onto the highest level of elation possible to mankind!!!
Then, we made it home and have had so much on our plate that I haven't even thought of me and my adjustment. I know I've not adjusted well. I've been very stressed and anxious. Scared. Scared mostly of failing my kids. Scared of not being perfect. Scared of not being able to help people here the way I was able to help and serve others in Haiti. I've been reflecting on all of that this week. Usually my brain gets so overwhelmed that I find something else to do or think about because I just can't process all of it. But, what I realize, even though I still have a long way to go in terms of processing all of what has happened over the past 5 years from the very first trip to Haiti, beginning and end of the adoption, and up until now is that I am so very grateful!
I am grateful for my health. I'm so blessed by a working and functioning body and mind. I'm grateful for my opportunities that I've had my whole life. I was born and raised by my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. I had siblings and cousins all around me. I never went hungry. I never went without a bed. I was clean and well cared for. I was (and still am) loved. I am grateful for my education. Many in the world don't even get one day of school let alone all the way through to a doctorate. I am grateful for my job. I am grateful for my church family. I am grateful for my children. When I look at them I see so clearly that they were not just born to be mine, but the reason that I was ever born was to be their mommy. I know God chose them for me and me for them before I was even born and that just blows me away! Lastly, as hard as it is, I am grateful for all that I have gone through. I am grateful for the hardships. They have taught me so much about God's love for me. Had I known 5 years ago all that I would have gone through I never would have considered taking that first trip to Haiti. Can you imagine?????? I can't. This is when I realize that God will tell us all that we can handle and He'll slowly reveal to us what we can handle. I am SO GRATEFUL for that! I can't imagine my life without the two amazing people that truly complete me. This is what I am holding to now. I keep reminding myself that God has it all worked out, and He'll show me daily what I need to know...no more and no less. If he can get us through Haiti and the last 5 years, today is no problem for Him!!!
I don't know how long it'll take for me to be able to process all that has happened the past 5 years, but I do know that I am simply grateful.

Comments

Manda said…
I have a lot to learn from you dear friend! I'm so glad you're in my life!
October 26, 2009 at 10:26 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Art, Ecrissa, and her friend!!!

So, I think, Ecrissa has an imaginary friend and she is so cute with this little friend. She will often look off to the the side and use sign language with this little friend. Sometimes I'll tell Ecrissa to "come" and she'll actually look up at her "friend" and sign "wait", telling her friend to wait for her there!!! It's so cute. Anyway, the two video's are with my friend Art, who apparently was introduced to Ecrissa's friend. He even got to share his food with her! My digital camera takes video without sound, so there isn't any sound with this, but really, the only sound missing is Ecrissa's giggling all the way through!!!!!! This is the second bit, where you can actually see Ecrissa giggle!!!!! My little girl sure does keep me on my toes and laughing!!!! Gotta love her to pieces!!!!!
Read more

We are home.

Wow!!!!! What a day!!!!! We (and I mean all three of us!!!! Wow, my kids are in the states!!!! What an amazing thing!) have arrived in MI and made it safely to my dad's house. It was a long day, but the kids did really well. They loved the airplane and Jaryse loved looking at "the city" as we flew over Miami last night. I held it all together until we landed in Miami and I heard the pilot or whoever say "welcome to Miami" at that point I cried. I couldn't believe I had actually made it to the USA with my two little munchkins. I had a smooth time through immigration both in Port au Prince and in Miami, and both flights went smoothly. I am so thankful to the Lord for protecting us through this whole ordeal and making these last few steps easier than the first few! I am still in a bit of shock, although, it might just be that I am FREEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZING. Maybe after I get used to the cold my brain and body will work a little more efficiently! I am so t...
Read more
So, today at about 2:37, I was driving and I prayed to the Lord, Father, I know this isn't too big for you! I really really would like passports today. I know the office is almost closed, but Father, please, let them release my passports, if the guy has already checked, please lay it on his heart to check again and let the office release them! I prayed this prayer, until I parked my car, about 2:40, walked into a store, walked out and noticed a missed call at 2:45, I called it back, it was the guy who was checking on passports---WE GOT THEM!!!!!! WE HAVE OUR PASSPORTS!!!!!!!!! Did you hear a really loud OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that was me this afternoon! I am so very very excited! I can hardly think straight! Thank you for all your prayers!!!! I know they work! I see it in my life everyday, and I am convinced! Prayer is powerful!!!!!! Praise the Lord for He is GOOD!!!!
Read more