The game of.......

WAITING!  We are still playing it!  I think that an adoption should actually be called something more along the lines of "growing and stretching your patience until the child you can't wait to hold comes home!" Haha!!!  I promised myself at the beginning of this process that I'd do better waiting.  Man!  Waiting is so hard!  I want so badly to see the face of the little girl that is going to officially become mine! Now, it's not that I haven't seen pictures of kids that need a family.  I have seen lots, even a couple of little girls who are deaf, but I need papers to be at a certain place in the process before that official match!  I, just so badly want to know who she is! I want to know more about her!  I want to go get her, bring her here and let her become a part of this crazy little place we call home!  But....we are still waiting for a document for me before I can move forward onto the next step.  I have been told that it takes 45-90 days to process this particular document....today is day 48.....I wish I didn't feel the need to count, but I do.  I check my mailbox daily hoping that I get a simple envelope with 1 piece of paper in it telling me that I can move along to the next step of....waiting!  I am doing better this time.  I am not feeling as if God has left me.  I am not feeling abandoned.  I am not feeling angry at Him.  After some reflection following this past couple weeks sermon's at church.....which are so divinely timed.....I realized that although I am handling it better, I am not seeking HIS FACE!  I am just sorta going along, afraid to think about it, afraid that if I do then it will look as if I don't trust that He has my best interest and the best interest of my children (China Baby included!) at heart.  So, I just keep myself busy.  This week, I am intentionally, starting NOW, going to Stop, Listen, and Seek Him!  I feel that this is part of what is missing in my relationship with God.  He wants me to move closer to Him during this wait.  Will you pray with me that I can do that.  That I turn to Him and seek Him!  Will you also pray that the little envelope with the little approval that we are waiting for will show up in my mailbox ASAP!!!!!


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