Vacation...

So, the past few days have been pretty relaxing. With no school, no clinic and no therapy clinics (well, except that Ashley came for a therapy session yesterday, which went really well, I'll tell you more about that later!), we have just been hanging out, playing with new toys and watching cartoons! The kids have really enjoyed the time off and so have I. These pictures were taken on Christmas day of the kids' first attempt at roller skating (that's why Ecrissa has shorts over her pajama's. She kept putting on her new clothes OVER her pajamas, at one point she had her MSU jersey on too!). They LOVE their new roller skates! I ordered the adjustable roller skates for them for Christmas and they have been doing such a good job. both of them can stand by themselves and even move from point A to point B (although, not that smoothly!). They have both taken a couple of falls, but are troopers and get right back up! I sometimes feel bad that they don't have all the things that I had while I was growing up. I had a huge yard with trees and swings and bikes and go-carts, we could go sledding, ice skating, etc. I am happy though that these two sweet hearts do not have to live in an orphanage, they are not starving anymore and they are healthy and growing! I am thankful that I was chosen to be their mommy.

Yesterday, Ashley came by. During the weeks that school is in session, her family has a very difficult time getting her to see me. Haiti is a very difficult place and so we just do the best that we can. So, even though it's my vacation, I was more than thrilled to see little Ashley yesterday and also to make an appointment to see her on Wed. She is doing great! Her family has kept up with the exercises that I have given them, even though we actually haven't had a session in a couple of months, Ashley has made progress! This is what it's all about! Teaching families how to care for their child and watching the family and the child progress!!!! It's not about me and my hands, it's about teaching! Giving information to and empowering families! Giving them hope! Seeing Ashley was such an encouragement to me yesterday. I have been struggling with frustrations, loneliness, sadness, fear and feelings of lack of worth, but seeing that one little girl, her smile and her improvements, renewed me just a bit! I am not ready to give up. Even if I help only one little girl make small improvements, it's worth it! I love how God uses the smallest things to bring us back and show us that we are important to him and that our actions mean something to Him and to His Kingdom

Thanks for your prayers and loving support

thank you to the family!

Well, the order of the pics on this blog entry are backwards, but please forgive me for not feeling up to it to fix it. Thanks to my mom and step-dad, dad and step-mom and grandma, the kids and I were able to open gifts this Christmas! Thanks to many other friends and family, I was blessed with the resources to be here to celebrate this joyous day with my children. Although I am so grateful for this time with my children, emotionally I have been struggling. I know my last post was one of sadness too, but I just haven't been able to work through all that is hard for me yet. Please forgive me again. I know this post is late, but depression makes it very hard to get things done. I sit down and I just stare at the computer. So, rather than wasting time staring at the computer, I sit on the floor with my kids and stare at them. They have magic in them! They are able to make me smile when all I want to do is cry. Anyway, enough with the sadness.........

We all got these amazing MSU jersey's! I was so excited. Christmas day we celebrated with some friends, and all three of us wore our jersey's, I had pictures, but somehow they "fell out" of my camera. By the time I got home, the picture that I so clearly saw there of the three of us looking very green, was GONE. I thought I was going to cry. Just one more thing to add to all of the frustrations. My camera was not working well. I got very few pictures of the kids opening presents, cause it just would not take pictures for some reason. Well, it is an old camera and has spent most of it's life in Haiti. Life is tough for everyone and everything here in this blessed little country.

The kids did have a blast though. I enjoyed watching them have a blast. With every present opened came a new smile of joy. I live for that. I live for the amazing smiles that my children have. Jaryse wanted to play with every toy before moving onto the next present. Ecrissa wanted to keep everything in her bag. She also put on all of the items of clothing, on top of each other!!!!!

I am thankful for our lives and I am thankful for all that the Lord has provided. I know that He is in control. I am still an emotional wreck, but I do know these things, somewhere in my brain! Can I ask that you please keep us in your prayers. I know that it's the prayers of those who love us that get us through. That keeps us safe, that secures our provisions, and that keeps Mommy sane and functioning!!!!!!! Thanks!

OH, PS, I got my passport! I am not longer passport-less in Haiti!! whoo hoo!!!!

Ramblings.......

So, I have been struggling today. Why???? I don't know, I can't totally put my finger on all that I am feeling (I know, I know, that is such a girl thing to say, but it's true.) I feel like I have been hit from all sides with "things". I won't go into full details, but my body and brain feel as if they are melting, or maybe freezing, maybe they are exploding, well, maybe it's, I don't know, the bottom line is--I am not functioning properly. I am sad, tired, exhausted, irritable, weepy, lonely, and any other sad adjective you can think of.

Why????

Is it the adoption?? No, not really, I can handle that and all of it's ups and downs, I have for four years. Well, OK, maybe it is the adoption. Maybe I am tired of fighting the same battles over and over and over. But, really the kids make everything alright! They are worth it.

Is it Finances? No, not really, God always seems to provide all that I need (not all that I want, but He never promised that right???). These provisions seem to come right at the very minute it's needed. And NOT A MOMENT TO SOON! Even after learning time and time again that God is faithful and will provide, I still fret (alot) about how I am going to feed the kids and put gas in the car and pay the bills back home in the States. There never seems to be enough really, but somehow, things seem to work out. Not without a few sleepless nights and lots of acne and some stomach pains, but God is good.

So, we may continue to ask, is it Haiti??? What about Haiti, sheesh! We could go on for days with the things that make living in Haiti difficult. But hey, I've tolerated that for almost 3 years too, so it really couldn't be all of that---could it???

Is it the kids???? NO! They are awesome! They are amazing. Worth it all. Well, they have been teasing each other alot, which usually turns into someone hitting someone. They also want to eat 3 times a day plus snacks, which is sometimes tiring to make that many meals and they seem to dirty lots of clothes too! (wink wink). Just kidding. The kids are blessings. Maybe they are work, but they make me happy!

Is it missing my third Christmas in a row with family??? No, I have my kids. OK, well, I do miss my family alot. I feel awfully lonely here in Haiti. My kids are always with me and I praise God for that, but toddlers aren't' that great with holding adult conversations! I also have dreamed for years and years (even before the adoption) about sharing my family and holidays with my children. I dream so much of letting them experience the love and joy that is our family at Grandma's on Christmas Eve, and the food of Christmas Eve, and the games like spoons and euchre (I am not sure how to spell that, and only people from MI will have ANY idea what I am talking about! IF you are really interested, Google it, better yet, Goodsearch it and put Ancheri Care, Inc in "Who do you Goodsearch for" tab. Every search earns Ancheri Care 0.01. It really does add up, we just received a check for over $130 which will be used for equipment and therapy for the children of Haiti. Go to goodsearch.com, it's a fun way (and free to you) to earn money for charity).

Am I sick? Well, not really. I feel about the same as I always feel physically. A bit tired, a slight headache (until I have a diet coke!), sometimes a bit of low back pain, but for the most part, I feel Great!

Is it work?? I don't think so. I only have to be at the medical clinic one time this week and one time next week. School is out. It can't be that. Of course, I do need to prepare for next semester and I have 4 different piles of paperwork here for organizing for school and the therapies that I do for different missionaries, kids, and Embassy/UN employees. I also have some equipment issues to sort out for various kids and missionaries, but somehow I'll get that done. It'll all work out, I am used to paperwork.

So, I guess maybe there is nothing wrong. Nothing that I haven't handled 100 times before. But, maybe that is just it, maybe I am just handling more than I can handle. I seem to hit this wall every couple of months. Usually I let my blog, and my pictures, and my email, and my FACEBOOK go untouched during these low times. I try to keep positive and stay upbeat. But, I need to be honest (maybe more with myself than with you)--I am sad, scared, lonely, tired, sore, etc, etc, etc. Why???? Because of everything listed above, because of nothing listed above and because of more than listed above.

Sorry for the long sad post. I just needed to "therapitize" ( I know, not a word, but I am ranting!!!) myself tonight, so that I can be "Merry Mommy" for my precious angels tomorrow as they have looked forward to the next 2 days for a few weeks. I want only for their life to be perfect (which I know it won't, buy hey, I can hope, wish, pray and try right????). See I think the issue is, I really have no reason at all to be sad, but I have many reasons to be an emotional girl!!!!!!!! :)

Thanks for letting me vent! Maybe now my mixed up emotional brain can sleep tonight. I doubt I'll be able to "fix" my life and therefore live in a glorious hue of happiness, but, God is in control and I give my life and my children's lives to Him. Praise be to Him.

Merry Christmas
Cheri Kay

In Haiti.........

......without a passport. Yep, I'm feeling a little weird about this! Not that I have any plans to travel but, I have to admit, I feel a little strange being in this country without my American Passport! No don't worry! I haven't been stripped of my American citizenship or anything, I am just getting my passport re-newed! It was going to expire so last Monday I spent the morning in the US Consulate applying for a new passport. For the most part, everything went really smooth and I'll get to pick up my new passport on December 29th. Jaryse went with me while Ecrissa was in school. He was such a good boy and such a ham! He had all of the other people in the American Citizens part of the consulate cracking up. He talked to everyone, showed them the "Ella Dance" (you have to see Ella Enchanted, Jaryse's favorite movie if you want to know what I am talking about!!! LOL), and he even colored a picture with the crayons and coloring book that I brought for him for the little boy that was sitting across from us. He shared his little toys with the boy also. I was very proud of him! As hard as things are here in Haiti, I am sure blessed with 2 amazing kids!!!!

So, only one more week of feeling a bit lost without my passport! I am reminding myself that it doesn't really matter cause I am not leaving and that I never have to use the thing anyway, but that still doesn't seem to settle my occasional thoughts of "oh yea, I don't have a passport!!!!" Anyway, I am looking forward to sharing Christmas morning pictures with you this week! Have a wonderful week!

Sincerely
Cheri Kay, Ecrissa and Jaryse

Looking at the good things

So, now that it's nearing the holidays, it takes a lot to stay positive about missing the third Christmas in a row with my family. Now, I am not complaining, as I have my beautiful children with me and they are able to celebrate Christmas with their mommy and not in an orphanage, and I realize how special that is and what a blessing it is to even have a family, my children and amazing friends. Even though I know all of this with my brain, sometimes my heart and emotions don't follow. I am thrilled to be with my kids, but not so thrilled with all of the struggles that come along with living here in Haiti and waiting out this process. I often feel lonely, even with 2 kids pulling on me, and I feel sad. I feel sad about lots of things, and sometimes I can't even tell you why I feel sad. I am frustrated with the struggles of daily life here in Haiti. It's hard. Haiti is a difficult place to be. I sometimes wonder why I gave up all of the "easiness" of the States, but all it takes to ground me is to look at the faces of my amazing children and I remember!

Anyway, all that to lead into the above pic!!!! LOL!!! I am focusing on the positives--We have often talked about the things that are easier in Haiti. While we are frustrated with life in this country, we list the things that are easier here than in the States. Usually I think of things like, 1. Easier to get Malaria 2. Easier to get sick 3. Easier to sweat so much you are dehydrated 4. Easier to find holes in the roads, you know, normal Haiti things!! So, then we usually stop ourselves and say, "the good things" OH yes, the good things. HMMMMMMM.................


OK, it's easier to buy medicines, as you don't need a prescription, you just walk into the little pharmacy and tell them what you want. It's easier to get a suntan and as in this picture above, it's easier to buy a coke while driving down the street. Yep, I am buying a bottle of coke while I drive down the road without even coming to a complete stop, let alone getting off of the street! So, I have decided that this is better than a drive through in the states! Delma, the main street in Port au Prince, as well as other somewhat major throughways, have these men that walk up and down the middle of the street and have cold drinks to sell. (We won't mention that they are often in the way and slow down the traffic a bit, and rarely have the correct change--we are being positive here!) They come right up to your window and hand you a coke and you hand them 4 Haitian Dollars. There are also people selling fried plantains, phone cards, car cell phone chargers, and other random things. Sometimes, depending where you are, the merchants that are selling banana's, pineapple, avocado, etc, will bring the fruit right to your car too. "Haitian Drive through!" sure is better than American drive through. I don't have to stop my car, get off the street or anything!!!!! I am smiling, because I can think of a few things that are easier in Haiti than in the States.

Now, don't go emailing me all the things that are easier in the States! I like my moment of joy!!!! LOL!!!! Please keep all of the foreigners that are in Haiti, serving the people of Haiti in your prayers this Christmas season. It's hard for us to not have our extended families with us and we constantly deal with the daily struggles of living in a third world country. Even though we have other blessings, we still are "alone" without the rest of our families during this very family oriented season. Thanks in advance for your prayers.

Keeping Busy!!!!

This little guy is Jony. I had more pics, but the silly internet is not letting me upload pictures. I have tried multiple times and this is the only one that would load. Oh well, I can tell you about him with just one pic!!!!

A missionary friend of mine helps with a medical clinic way out in a village, way out in the middle of no where! Ok, well, it's somewhere, but very far away from the city!!! This little boy was brought to her clinic a couple of weeks ago. She called to see if I'd be willing to evaluate him. I said sure! So, she brought him, his momma, and the village pastor to my house. He is 10 years old and has severe Cerebral Palsy. He has no access to any therapy or therapy related activities, never been to school (if you can't walk, you can't go to most schools in Haiti and especially way out in the villages there are no schools for the handicapped), but his family is very loving. They have taken good care of him. He is very verbal and was fun to talk to and play with. He has some use of his right arm, none of his very deformed left, minimal use of his legs, really poor strength, and AWFUL scoliosis of his spine.

I was able to show his mom some exercises, give him a wrist brace for his left wrist and give him a toy to do some of the exercises with. They agreed to do the exercises and see me once a month to change and advance the exercises. Now, in the states, I'd want to see this kid much more often than once a month, but since it takes such a long time to get to him or him to get to me, we are going to have to do with seeing me once a month and the family taking responsibility for the therapy during the month. We'll see how it goes. Mom did the exercises very well at my house, so I am very hopeful.

As he was leaving, Jaryse gave him one of his little cars to take home too. He enjoyed playing with Jaryse's cars, so Jaryse shared and gave him one to take home and keep. I was very proud of my little man. He was so giving and caring. I pray that that attitude will continue as Jaryse grows and that he'll continue to show the love of the Lord to everyone that he meets.

Please keep young Jony in your prayers and his family. Please pray that they will do the exercises and Jony will slowly increase in his functional activities. This family is rare in Haiti. Most families do not keep their disabled children. They throw them away. I find that they throw them away either right at birth or when the care for them gets too much for the family to handle. My goal, is that with therapy, this little boys function will increase, therefore decreasing the amount of care needed and decreasing the burden on the family. This will allow the family to keep him and his quality of life will be as high as possible. Definitely a higher quality of life with a loving family versus dying in a trash pile or living in an overcrowded orphanage with little to no individual attention. Thank you for joining me in this prayer!

A day in the life.......

It's just been pretty normal around here lately. Well, as normal as Haiti gets any way. Sometimes I am a bit nervous at how "normal" all of this is to me. I haven't' left this country in 15 months (most missionaries leave for a few weeks a couple of times a year, or a few months once a year). I am a bit concerned that I do not take notice to the masses of people urinating in public, or the fact that telephone wires are jumbled balls of live wires, or that I only notice the REALLY strong weird smells that are every where in this country. I also think that a good road is one that my car can at least make it through without four wheel drive. Hopefully, when I do get to travel back to the states, I won't have a meltdown from culture shock!!!!!

We have had a pretty good week. Filled with the normal ups and downs and happy and sad moments and those inevitable moments of sibling fights! But, this week, my little girl really made me laugh. We had Taco Salad, and during dinner she was signing "tree". I was looking all over for a tree. I wasn't sure what she was talking about. Then, she pointed to the lettuce, she wanted more lettuce, didn't know the sign for lettuce, and figured TREE was the best she could do! That made me giggle! First, I am so proud of her for using her signs, even when it's difficult, and second, what an amazing little girl, to be able to use her brain and think of something that is "close" to what she wants. She also has been asking for things by their color if she doesn't know the sign for the object. She really is learning!

I had to put a really cute pic of my little man, because the 2 to follow are ones that will make him really dislike me someday, but they are sooooooooooooooooooooo funny! In the Pre-K class, they have dress up clothes and I was in there helping with a project last week. All of a sudden, I turn around and see my beautiful son wearing all of these amazing dress up clothes! He was having so much fun and I couldn't help but take some pictures!!!!!!

It doesn't get much cuter than that!!!!!!